The Search for Answers

I have spent my life in pursuit of answers to the question ‘what is wrong with me?’. I can remember recognizing incredibly early that I did not function like everyone else. I have read every piece of literature I could find about different religious beliefs and spiritual practices, psychics, co-dependence, empaths, zodiac signs, autism, ADHD, attachment theory, neurodivergence, and mental illness. I took enough psychology classes to accidentally get a few bachelor’s degrees in various fields of psychology. I have avoided therapists all my life because I always thought that I might actually be a little bit unhinged. I finally found my answer in November of 2024. I have the HSP gene. I have a very acute version of the trait;  I can smell illnesses before any doctor finds it, I can hear my earthing mat when I touch it, I can even hear myself ground when I step barefoot on the earth. I  feel someone lying like ants crawling under my skin, and I feel anger directed at me as a severe cramp in my forehead. Even if I am not facing the person! I can hear my own heartbeat and the blinking of my eyes, and that is only a tiny portion of my uniqueness. I have been using language like ‘a little touched, a bit different, a little bit odd’ to minimize my uniqueness all my life. I have been silent about many...indeed, most of my abilities since I learned as a toddler how uncomfortable my perceptiveness made everyone around me. In fact, I edited out about half of what I originally  wrote in this blog, thinking that those specific oddities would seem unbelievable, even to someone else with HSP.

I stumbled upon the documentary called Sensitive: The Untold Story and it changed my life (YouTube Movies, 2023) and it changed my life.  Instead of being a ‘weirdo who was a little bonkers’, I have acute HSP. It is not ‘witchy’ or ‘psychic’ or even ‘severe codependence’. It is now science that can be tested, explained, and understood by everyone.  I am no longer uncomfortable in my own skin, and I have slowly begun to build a community around thriving with HSP.  I have the education to provide wellness coaching, but more importantly I have the experience to provide wellness coaching about thriving as a Highly Sensitive Person. 

I have attached the link to the groundbreaking documentary about the trait of high sensitivity that is based on the findings of bestselling author-psychologist Dr.Elaine Aron (The Highly Sensitive Person). 

Works Cited:

YouTube Movies. (2023, September 19). Sensitive: The Untold Story. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrRwgYyjxQg